Adoption Story: Part 1
It is getting close to Tiago’s second birthday. This morning as we played in the living room James and I talked about how much he has grown and how blessed we are to have such amazing boys. I also began to think of all of the changes our life has taken over the last two years. Everyone who has adopted has their own unique story. This is ours.
James and I had both always wanted to adopt. I was so relieved to learn that about him once we stared dating. Once we got married we kind of assumed we would wait about five years before having kids. Ha. A little over a year later I knew it was time. I don’t know how to explain the feeling, one day I just woke up and knew it. It was around August or September of 2008. I was not sure if James was there yet so I waited. Then one day in October James and I were at church. He was sitting on the floor a few youth students over from me. He got my attention and mouthed the words “I think it is time.” He didn’t have to explain, I knew what he meant. We went home that day and began to talk about what that looked like for us. Though we both had always wanted to adopt we also wanted to have some biologically. We sat on our bed in our condo in downtown Franklin and talked for hours. We both felt very strongly like the Lord was telling us to start our family with adoption. We also discussed that we both knew our first son would be a boy. I also told James that I did not like a lot of boys’ names but I loved this one name that I had learned in YWAM. All I knew was that it was Portugese. I was like, I really like the name “Tiago”. James, being fluent in Portugese was like, “Really? Did you know that is the Portugese version of James?” What? So anyways, Tiago was named that day. At that point we had no clue that he was already in his birth mommy’s tummy. Wow, I am tearing up just thinking about that moment in time.
The first thing we did was take our parents out to dinner. We gave them cards and wrote on the inside that they were going to be grandparents (again for James’ parents). We told them we would be adopting and then just discussed. What came up kind of shocked me. I had no idea that his parents and my parents had both almost adopted in the past. James’ parents had almost adopted a sibling group of 3 brothers. My parents could not get pregnant, started the adoption process, their agency told them they had a baby for them, and then my mom found out she was preggo with Taylor. Wow.
We had no clue how to start the process so I began to just look up adoption agencies online. I started calling agency after agency. Each call ended abruptly after they found out that I was only 22 and had only been married a year and a half. Most agencies require that you be at least 25 and/or married for 5 years. They also all asked me if I was fertile. James and I had never tried to make a baby so I assumed the answer was yes (We found out a few months later that that was definitely an affirmative). Well, even though these agencies turned me down I knew something was going to work out. I began talking to a woman at our church who had 3 beautiful adopted children. She told me all about the agency she used which was Caring Choices. I made a call and set up an appointment to meet with someone in November. As the appointment approached I knew that this was going to be the one. I heard the Lord tell me “put on your seat belt, this is going to happen fast”. I did not know what fast meant to the Lord, but I decided that 6 months seemed fast to me. The meeting was just me and one woman from Caring Choices because James had to be at work. She asked me some questions and then at the end of the meeting she said “well, you are really young and haven’t been married very long, BUT I think we will begin to work with you. You are going to be at the very bottom of the list. We will begin doing some paperwork, you will take some classes that we offer next fall, it is likely to still be about 2 or 3 years from now, etc.” The 2 or 3 years time-line was even after I told her that we were open to any race. If we had been the normal adoptive family doing a domestic adoption and only requesting a healthy Caucasian baby, it would be even longer. I left the meeting with so many emotions. She had given me a stack of papers to begin filling out. It took James and I until the beginning of February to fill it all out. That is where I will pick up the story next time.
Here are some pictures of James and I pre-monkeys. We were clueless about what was to come.