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Bye Bye Breastmilk Blues

March 16, 2011

This morning I watched as Jude drank the last drops of my breast milk. I am shocked at how sad I feel. I breast fed him for 14 months. After he was born I did not experience post partum depression. However, this has left me a bit depressed. I know some moms reading this will be like ” Wow, you should be glad that you were able to nurse him that long.” I also know that there are some breastfeeding extreme-o’s out there who may even be judging me for not keeping it up until he is two. All I know is that I am totally comfortable with how long he nursed. It was definitely the right time for us to stop. I had been hauling that pump around everywhere I went for months. I had to pump in the hallway at school in between my night classes. During the day i could just walk over to the daycare because it is on our school’s campus ad nurse him. Also, when I was teaching at Pure Barre I always had to get there 20-30 minutes early to pump and make sure that I remembered to bring the bag that would keep it cool with the ice pack. As I weaned him, I continued pumping once a day for a bit and stored it all in the freezer. This was the end.I love nursing this little monkey. I loved knowing that he was “getting the good stuff”. But I must also say though I know that formula is not as good health-wise. Tiago was not breastfed. Yes, I know that it is possible. But at the time I had just also found out that I was preggo with Juders and had just gone from just a working wife to a mommy and pregnant no time flat so it was all a bit to take in and we gave Tiago formula. I don’t think that formula is the best but I have no judgements or negative feelings towards anyone who uses it. I really enjoyed the fact that James woke up and fed Tiago in the middle of the night for those first 7 weeks before he started sleeping through the night. That was AWESOME!! Anyways, my main thought of the day is that I am sad that jude has no more breast milk to drink. Sad sad sad. He is doing great drinking his almond milk though. It took a while to sell him on it, but now he sucks it down.


* side note. One of the other great things about breast feeding is that it is free!!! When Jude was only nursing we were able to make buy all of our groceries every month just with our foodstamps. Now a days both boys eat more than I could have ever imagined and we end up having to use some of our student loans each month to make our last 1 or 2 grocery runs. Thank you government assistance.

Any mamas out there care to share a comment about their weaning experience feel free.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. March 16, 2011 5:31 pm

    I cried when Lib finished her last bag of frozen breast milk. Granted…she is still nursing once a day in the early morning when she wakes up. I fully believe that weaning should follow the child’s lead. If you’re both mutally ready, go with it. But I am SO glad to be done with that pump too! I can totally empathize with hauling it around and pumping in between classes. No fun!

  2. Steve permalink
    March 16, 2011 9:02 pm

    I finished the last of the coconut milk in my refrigerator this afternoon. Although I didn’t cry, I did feel some disappointment.

    PS: I read your blog!

  3. March 16, 2011 11:36 pm

    I’m working on weaning my little guy (and myself) as I write. I might have continued nursing well into toddler-hood but once he dropped to two feedings a day my supply dropped and he just started getting annoyed after nursing (like “where’s the milk??? wtf!” instead of “yay! boobie!”) so my husband and I have decided the time is right.

    We’re now at 1 feeding a day and later this week will be cutting it out… I’m sure at that point my own tears and short-term mini depression will set in.

    I try to think of the positive – being able to finally get new bras that fit and look cute. Yes I am healing myself by spending money. hahahaha.

    Looks like our boys are almost the same age. Mine is 15 months (about) and his name is Santiago (we call him Tiago). Will keep reading your blog to see what fun you’re having a maybe fine some cooking and other inspiration. 🙂

    • March 16, 2011 11:41 pm

      Thanks for reading the blog. Our oldest son’s name is Tiago. Small world. I was also excited about fitting back into a smaller bra. I treated myself to two new ones last week. I actually bought a “big-girl” bra for the first time in a long time. I exercise all the time and find myself wearing sports bras even to nice events. Ha. I guess I am growing up.

  4. March 17, 2011 1:07 am

    Kudos to you- 14 months is a great accomplishment! I nursed both my kids and I just knew each time when we were done (it was different for each one). It was sad each time- but there was no forcing it.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog, I look forward to reading more of your writing!

  5. Johanna permalink
    September 25, 2011 2:54 am

    I just read this again. As a pregnant and still nursing Mom, I can honestly say I don’t think triggering lactation while pregnant is possible(or safe since that is not the time to be messing with your hormones from the outside). My supply tanked by 6 weeks pregnant and only recently around 22 weeks have I noticed anything at all there. My only guess is my son is nursing for comfort and maybe some antibodies but I highly doubt nutrition. As I joke all we are doing is making sure he can still latch when the milk returns in January.

    Just thought I’d let you know as someone who now has experience nursing and pregnancy at the same time.

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