Adoption Story: Part 5
So Tiago came home, and by home I mean to James’ parent’s house because we were still out of our condo because of the fire. It was nice because we had a huge room with a huge bathroom and Tiago slept in a sweet little Moses basket on the floor. James took a week off of his job at the car shop he worked at and we spent most of our time sitting on our bed watching every single episode of Planet Earth with a little baby in our arms.
In the state of TN birth mothers still have rights until 12 days after the baby is born. Although I knew the Lord intended Tiago to be our son, it still made me nervous, especially after hearing stories of people who actually had birth mothers who changed their minds. But all went smoothly. Around the same time that her rights were terminated she gave me a call and asked if we could get together for dinner so she could see Tiago again. We said yes. Our intention is to be in touch with her as often as she would like. We chose open adoption because we truly feel it is the best way to go with domestic adoptions. Tiago will never have to walk down the street wondering if every stranger he passes by could possibly be his birth mother. He will have the opportunity to know her. We made arrangements and met her, her mother and step father, and her sister a few days later. It was a lovely dinner. We told her everything he had done in his first 2 weeks of life. One awkward moment occurred when our server came over and knelt down to look at Tiago. I was sitting right next to Tiago so she asked me “how old is he?” “two weeks” I said. “Oh my gosh, you look amazing for having had a baby 2 weeks ago”….”ummm, thanks”. I honestly didn’t know what to say. Tiago’s birth mother was actually in a conversation with her mother at the moment so she missed it. I didn’t want to lie but I also didn’t want to say “well actually, she had him but he is ours now.” I mean what do you do with stuff like that?
Later in the evening I got up and went to the bathroom. I had been having some cramps, and as they got worse I figured it would just be best to hide myself in a tiny bathroom stall so no one would have to see my “I am in incredible pain” face. I probably sat on the potty in the stall for close to 10 minutes nearly writhing in pain. At one point I thought I might not be able to stand back up, but I did. Dinner ended and we left and rushed off to our small group with friends from church.
About 3 or 4 days later I was at the mall with my extended family to celebrate one of my cousin’s birthdays. There are 12 cousins and some are picky eaters so we often eat at the mall because there are so many options there. James was still at work for the evening so I had driven myself and Tiago there. I was still having those cramps and actually was a bit light headed. Right around the time I could tell everyone was going to leave I started really feeling bad. My head was kind of spinning, and I told my aunt that Tiago and I might need a ride home because I was feeling too busy to drive. She immediately said, “you know, you could be pregnant.”
“WHAT?!?!, no way. I am about to start my period. I have been having cramps for days. and HELLO…I have a 3 week old right HERE.” I walked myself to the bathroom slowly, and checked to see if I had started my period. I had not. When I got back to the table my aunt said “when exactly do you think you should start your period?” “umm I dunno” I started to think and then had to ask her what the date was. When she told me the current date I realized that in all of the Tiago coming home whirlwind I had not looked at a calendar in days. I was clueless that my period was a week and a half late. Clueless. My uncle drove Tiago and I home. On the way I called James who was just getting off from work. This was our conversation: “Umm hey babe. I am not feeling good at all, so uncle Steve is driving us home.” “really, you feel that bad?” “yup, I need you to do me a favor on your way home from work…Can you stop by Walgreens and pick something up for me?” “sure, what?” “ummmm, uhhh, well, uhhhh, ahhh, hmmm……a pregnancy test.” “what?!?!” “Tammy says that these are common feelings when you are pregnant, so lets get one just to check. I am sure we are not pregnant because God obviously knows that we have a 3 week old but it can not hurt to pee on a stick just to check.”
About 15 minutes later I was settling me and Tiago into our room at James’ parents house when James called. “Hey babe. I am on the aisle with the pregnancy tests and I just want you to know that I know this is crazy but I kind of hope Tammy is right.” What a relief because I had no idea what he was going to think.
I peed on it, and it said we were pregnant. James and I immediately began to jump up and down with joy. We were pregnant, and sweet Tiago was going to have a sibling close in age to play with! Then if you could flash forward to about 3 hours later you would see me on the floor in the kitchen sobbing and heaving in fear saying ” oh my gosh, how on earth are we going to be parents to TWO children?” It was kind of one of the craziest moments of my life.
Anyways so 6 weeks prior to that moment we had zero children and then all of a sudden we had two. As if being a brand new mom who had no time to prepare wasn’t crazy enough just add on top of it being pregnant and having crazy hormones. Ha. God always knows what is best. His plans are wacky, but I would not have it any other way.
Here are a few photos from my pregnancy and one of my favorites from right after Jude was born. An amazing photographer from our church blesses us with these. Check her out at luphoto.com