My Sweet Balding Two Year Old
Yes, It is happening again. I tried to deny it all week. Maybe Tiago’s hair really wasn’t thinning again. Maybe it was just my eyes playing tricks on me or something. But this past Friday when I ran my fingers through my sweet Tiago’s hair I ended up with a handful. For those who have been following for a bit you may remember my post about the fact that Tiago has alopecia. It is an auto immune disorder which is only known to affect hair. The beautiful part is that it does not affect his health at all. It seems like such a trivial thing in the grand scheme of things especially as the news of tornadoes destroying people’s homes and even killing loved ones has been on the news lately. But, I am not going to lie I am a wee bit sad to know that it is happening again. With alopecia you never know what is going to happen next. He may lose all of his hair this week, then grow it back in a month or so or it could be years before he has more growth. It may come in in patched like it did this time, or one day it may actually cover his whole head. I am happy that he is still so young that he is clueless. He will always be the most handsome kid on earth if you ask me (you too Jude).
When it comes to adoption many people have interesting thoughts and sometimes those thoughts even turn in to comments. I remember a few days after we found out that Tiago’s birth mom had chosen us. She was due in about 2-3 weeks and we did not know a whole heck of a lot about her medical history and relatively nothing about the birth father’s. One of our friends who did not have any kids asked us, “What if something goes wrong during labor? or what if the child is born with some sort of defect?” This could have been offensive, but I honestly was trying to see where that person was coming from never having had a child before and not knowing anything about adoption. It must have seemed like a perfectly normal question to ask to them. I really wanted to respond and say, “There would be the same amount of risk involved in labor and delivery if I was carrying this child. Would I all of a sudden decide I didn’t want it if he or she was born with some sort of special need??? OF COURSE NOT.”
We just knew that everything was right, and I honestly have no other better way of explaining it. We. Just. Knew. Tiago was born in one push. He had an extremely easy delivery and was born perfectly healthy. I have also been asked by dozens upon dozens of people if I have any different types of feelings for Jude who is biological compared with Tiago who was adopted. Totally fair and curious question of people who do not know. But the answer from me is a resounding “no”. I often forget that I have an adopted child because to me they are both the same. I love them both the same. I will do anything on earth for the well-being of either of them. As a matter of fact before Jude was born I was worried that I would not be able to love him as much as I loved Tiago. That is just being really honest. Tiago being my first son, I loved him with all of my heart and had no idea how it would work when the love had to be divided between he and another. I did not realize until Jude was born that God just gives us as mothers a larger love tank.
When we found out Tiago had alopecia it was a bit hard to swallow just because no one wants to see their kids hair fall out. But as we learned more and realized that he was still perfectly healthy we just counted our blessings. So many parents out their have much larger challenges to overcome. While in Nashville over our spring break we had dinner with Tiago’s birth mother. I had e-mailed her to tell her about the alopecia. At dinner is when she told us that the birth father’s side of the family did have alopecia. That is one reason that I love our open adoption. Not that it would have made a difference on how we treated it or anything, but it is just nice to know these things sometimes.
I think I am just rambling now. Maybe it is because it is Mother’s Day and I am feeling reflective, I don’t know. Here are some pics. They may be the last ones of Tiago with hair for who knows how long. Also. check out the bonus pic of Jude’s poop in his crib from Friday. It was everywhere, though you can’t see from the pic. His legs and back were covered.